A New Year, A New Promise to Myself

This year didn't start of so well. Coming face-to-face with ones fears is not a pleasant feeling and though sometimes it's absolutely necessary to do so in order to move forward, I find that humans often rather live in denial. I'm no different. The security of denial and ignorance is more assuring than knowledge. Who said that knowledge was power? Oh yes, Sir Francis Bacon. To some extent he knew what he was talking about...but emotionally...ignorance is bliss (Thomas Gray knew where it was at).

Besides a bag of unhappiness and exhaustion, what else has the new year brought? Just the knowledge that I'm being handed a fresh palate and that I should take full advantage of the newness of it. Problem is, I can't seem to gather up the interest to do so. My drive has dried up. My excitement has been replaced with emptiness and apathy.

I'll snap out of this. We all know how I am. I'll log on to my beloved blog. Bitch for a bit, then disappear only to return again so I can babble on about something of no importance after which life goes on until I hit another wall.

So what's this promise to myself? It's that I will find time for me. I will stop saying 'yes' to everything no matter how discomforted I am. I will make myself first priority in my life and when I see that something is wrong with me, I will make every effort to find out what the hell it is.

This year, I'm going to be the headliner of this show and everyone else, side actors.

*Note: Though I realize that my 'resolution' for the upcoming year sounds a bit narcissistic, self-absorbed and egocentric, I know also that I am physically unable to be all three things for very long. Be patient with me.