Another night at the Uzzaman Homestead

Him: Can we get some of those things?
Me: What things?
Him: You know, those things...*makes circular motion* You know...*points at table*
Me: *blank look*
Him: *sigh* Oh what are they called? You put your plate on them so they don't...slide around?
Me: You mean a place mat?
Him: Yeah! That's right. *excited* Can we get some of those?
Me: Why?
Him: Cause my plate slides around!
Me: You can't control your plate as you eat? Are you a janwar that you attack your food like that?

*Janwar = Beast

Him: *Mouth drops open*
Me: *keeps eating until I glance up* What's wrong with your face?
Him: *sullen look, sad voice* You called me a janwar.
Me: I didn't call you one, I asked you if you were one. There's a difference.
Him: *pouting* You called me a janwar.
Me: *getting up to put plate away* Look, I didn't technically call you one, I was simply asking you if you were one cause you're plates dancin' around all over the place while you're eating.
Him: *hauty look as he stomps up the stairs* You called me a janwar.
Me: *rolls eyes at his departing back*