Ugh...I'm Addicted

Darlings, I never thought it would happen. I was never that sort of person. Oh God.

I don’t have an ‘addictive’ personality at all. You know those people who do right? Those are the people you look at and can go ‘oh yeah’ internally the minute you see them. No doubt, that person can get hooked fast. I don’t think you can say that about me, or at least I didn’t. Nope, I’ve been living happily through life knowing that I’m fairly even and balanced.

Now, after 34 (almost 35) years of living, my dependency has come to light, much to my distress and dismay.

Here it is Darlings:
I’m a blog junkie.

*stands up and raises hand and says in a solemn yet quivering voice* “I, Rubes, am addicted to blogging.”

*phew*

Okay now I feel better.

Why has this reality just hit home? Because its 12:47am, I’ve worked 14 hours straight and I could barely keep my eyes open as I was driving home yet here I am on the computer typing. As if I hadn’t typed enough all day long. Jeez.

The truth of the matter is, as much as my blog needs me to keep it going and interesting, I need it more so because it has become my only form of release. Reading can do it for me at times but I realize with every passing day and every entry that I do this for no one else but myself (and a good bit of mental stability).

If you’ve never blogged (or journal-ed or even written something about the day’s events on a napkin) I highly suggest you do so. Even when what you have to write is of the most banal in nature, do it regardless. It is a way of looking at your own day with a 3rd person perspective. This has happened to me on numerous occasions. There has been many a times when I’ve suffered through a day that I would just as well forget, write it down and after doing so, can read my ramblings and think to myself, “boy did I ever overreact,” or “shit, I ought to just simmer down,” or even “okay I could have handled that a lot differently”. All in all, it’s as if I’m proofing my life and no matter how much I’d like to lie to myself, it’s hard when my stupid conscience accompanies me, observes me, and is my biggest critic in general. So, I can’t get very far in lying in my blog because if I go back and re-read, I’m often riddled with guilt.

Even though initially my only intent at writing down my thoughts were solely for myself, blogging has also quickly become a way of letting friends and family members have a birds-eye view into the world that is Rubes-World. Scary I know but often in the past I have been told that my life is full of things worth writing about. I don’t know if that's true but hey if my yacking rings someone else’s bell, who am I to refuse to indulge them?

One suggestion Sweeties, read other peoples blog. You get amazing perspectives into other’s lives (you can call it voyeurism but that’s so much harsher I think). I also believe that you can often utilize what you learn from others blogs to assist you out in your own life. Um…alright maybe not but you sure can get a giggle/chuckle out of it (worst case scenario, something to read when you’re on the can---NOT THAT I DO THAT, UGH.)

Yes, I’m a blog junkie and that’s okay because at least I’ve admitted to it. The thing is this isn’t one of those addictions that I think I need an intervention for, right?

*Distinct feeling of unease*

Anyhow Darlings, I’m done with my blabbering for tonight…erm…this morning. Have a wonderful snooze (which you’re probably already doing if you’re sane and not an insomniac like me, another problem which I will probably discuss in a later blog).

*waves sleepily with a great big yawn to top it all off with*

Psst…don’t be surprised if you see another entry right after this one. I’m about just that pathetic.