I'm back!

It feels like forever since I've been here. OMG. I miss blogging. But so much crap has happened since my last blog. Unfortunately, I'm still tired and now you can add worn out to the list. Blah.

***Warning - This is going to be one long ass blog (what's new w/that right?)***

So let's see, Wednesday, I got home late after fighting the usual last minute turkey day shoppers at the grocery store. Holy Hell Batman! I almost got run over by an ol' granny weilding her cart at manic speeds down the aisle all in her pursuit to capture the last box of Stove Top.

Um, the question is: Why the hell isn't she making it from scratch?

Okay that was mean of me. I mean not every granny makes stuffing from scratch but still...seems wrong somehow (not to mention she got the last box of stuffing which I was aiming to grab myself). Can't believe I got beat to the punch by a 80 year ol' cart speedin' woman in wool hose who smelled of Bengay *sigh*

Off to home I went to pack quickly and then we (me and my precious) left for mom and dad's. After stuffing myself silly w/all types of goodies, I plopped down into the living room and ogled (yes I said ogled) the circulars for Black Friday. My family was rolling with laughter.

Me: *points at a butter knife* OOoooohhhh look mom, a butter knife for 1.99. I think I should go get this.
Mom: *giggles*
P: *confused look* Don't we have a couple of them around the house?
Me: *blank look* yes, and your point is?
Bhaiya: *shakes head*
Dad: *chuckles*
Me: *points excitedly at turkey pan* Ooooooohhhhhhhhh look!!! This is on sale for 5.99!!
Mom: don't you already have a turkey pan.
Me: *nose up in the air as I turn the page* One can never ever have too many turkey pans, is what I say.
Family: *busts out into more laughter*

Next morning wake up and pad downstairs in my fav black footies w/a hotdog across the top of it. It's soo cute, and if you put ur feet together, you connect the two halfs of the dog. Heh. Anyhow, it's a gorgeous day. A balmy 80 probably and all the windows are thrown open. We spend the better part of the day doing nothing but consuming copious amounts of food that are bad for you and have absolutely NO nutritional value *gleeful* then around 3 I pull the big monster out of the refrigerator and eye it disdainfully. There's something seriously perverted about giving a massage to a dead bird (not to mention sticking your hand right up it's woohoo). But I manage to give it a good rubdown by which time the family starts to trickle in. This means all 500 members of the clan converge at once. Oh joyous holiday!

By 8pm, the bird is perfectly cooked, golden brown on the outside, perfectly spiced on the inside (for those who have never eaten Desi turkeys, try it! Marinade in garlic, ginger and yogurt for 4 days) OMG. We also had nihari and other yummies to fill our tummies.

That night, after everyone went home, B, P, M and I decided that we needed to sing for the competition. Right there on the spot, we threw together 6 songs. These are the songs (with translations in parenths):

Churaliya hain tumne jo dil ko (you stole my heart)
Ajeeb dastan hain yeh (Odd road this is)
Aaj mein upar, assmaan neeche (Today I'm high and the sky is beneath me)
Aaje brishir Kanda Dekhe (Today as I look at the rains tears...)
Dil hain chota sa, choti se aasha (The hearts small, there's small hope too)
Duma Dam Mast Kalandar (don't have any clue as to this translation but Abida Parveen totally rocks)

(translations may sound stupid but the songs are gorgeous)

B and M spent the night and we ended up yacking till almost 4:30am (my sweetie had work the next day so he left : ( ) Anyhoo...fast forward to Friday and aiyyoo ppl...I don't think I stayed still for a hot second from the moment I got up. First off to Mami and Mama's place to drop off B and M. Then home to pick up mom and off to the hospital (mom's best friends husbands nephew was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was having surgery that morning so I went to drop her off so she could spend QT with them). Got home to meet up w/the bro-man and we went to Walmart to buy stuff to decorate the stage. Home to actually turn all that we bought INTO decorations for the stage. Off to the competition hall to put up the decorations for the stage. Practiced on stage for our song. Back home to parentals, half-heartedly cleaned up while trying to keep my eyes open, tried to eat though wasn't successful at it, practiced again, left to come back to VA. Cleaned my bedroom, pulled out clothing for the next several days including but not limited to hair products, jewelry, make-up, shoes, Indian clothing, American clothing, face stuff and the list goes on and on and on. By the time my lil aching head hit the pillow, it was 2:30 am and I was up by 8:30am *sigh*

Why is it during the day that time can drag by and then at night it's gone in an instant? Stupid time.

Okay, Now we're at Saturday morn. In the shower, out of the shower (did I forget to shampoo? Damn it), back in the shower, shampoo, condition, out of the shower, blow dry, blow dry, blow dry, curl curl curl, scream at reflection in mirror, curl curl curl, singe eyebrow almost clear off, sigh in tedium, put on petticoat, put on blouse, put on jacket, wander outside, smoke, back inside, make up make up make up, wrap sari around, primp in front of the mirror, make faces at myself, leave, come back, grab directions, leave, come back, grab purse, leave, come back grab coat, finally leave.

Murray and Yvettes wedding. Oh lovely, lovely day. *sigh* What else could I have asked for more but to see two of my closest and dearest friends getting hitched? I was there to help her get dressed and I was there to peek at him in his tuxedo clad fine-ness, I was there to watch her glide down the aisle with eyes brimming of unshed tears, I was there to watch him strive valiantly to blink away the moisture in his own eyes, I was there to see the love that bound them together and I was there to be apart of it all.

Fast forward consuming copious amounts of yummilicious foods...
Take a quick catnap on the way to the competition. Go go go...

12:30 am...
P: OMG, it's Prodip Bhaiya's bday!
Me: *blink blink*
Me: *mentally thinking OH SHIT*
Me: *going into the hall, finding him, dragging him out, smooching him and whispering happy birthday while having nothing at all to give him, not even a bleedin' card.*
It's official, I'm the worst wife ever...EVER.

1:30 am, driving to D's house for a post-saturday-night-competition-party. Thinking to myself, "Why the 'effin' hell aint I in bed? What am I doing going to a party when I gots to get up at 8:30am?"

This night of drunken debauchery brings to light such gems as:

"Let's play flip cups!!!"
"Come and stand on my large, long white dick!!!"
"Come on my large, long white dick!!!"
"OMG, who the hell just ripped one?" *looks around frantically pinching noses emitting lots of ewww's and running*
"I LOVE YOU MAN...I LOVE YOU GURL...I love you....everyone"
"Tullay...mooooooooooooooooo"
"What the hell is wrong w/desi guys? They stand on one side of the friggin' room ignoring the girls who are on the other side of the room ignoring them. Okay, what's wrong w/desi's in general?"
"No! NO MORE SHOTS!"

Riz: Yur bro's wasted, don't letem drive home. *slurred voice*
Me: Okay
15 mins later...
Riz: Yur bro's wasted, don't letem drive home. *slurred voice*
Me: Okay *wondering if I'm suffering from De ja vou (or however you spell it)*
15 mins later...
Riz: Yur bro's wasted, don't letem drive home. *slurred voice*
Me: *silent look* Ohhhh kay.
15 mins later...
Riz: Yur bro's wasted, don't letem drive home. *slurred voice*
Me: *archs an eyebrow* *looks at his wife* *looks at him* *Looks at his wife* Let me apologize ahead of time in case you're easily offended regarding what I'm about to say to your husband. *grabs empty bottle* I SAID OKAY DAMN IT, NOW BACK UP.

*****

Me: I think he's yacking
R: Yeah, he is.
Me: Okay, well he'll feel better. YO! In the grass damn it, the grass for the love of god!
*R and Me looks at each other*
*Hard wretching*
*Gush of water*
*R and Me pulling faces and inching towards the house realizing that the driveway is on a slope*
Me: Oh wow.
R: Yeah.
Me: Gross
R: Yeah.
Me: That was...like a gyser.
R: Yeah. *pulls face*
Me: Okay he's your friend, BYE!
Me: *runs in*

*******

Sunday morning:
8:30 -
*surface to consciousness*
*looks around*
*stumbles to bathroom*
*goes back to bed*
*eyes sweetie in bed passed out*
*wants to kick him out of bed for being that passed out and not having to wake up*
*grumbles*
*passes out next to sweetie who is passed out on bed with no intention of waking up anytime soon*

9:30 -
*jumps up with heart hammering in chest*
OH SHIT
*glances at clock*
OH SHIT
*jumps out of bed with heart still hammering*
*runs to bathroom*
*stares dumbfoundedly at broken bathroom shower rod*
*thinks, what the fuck happened here*
*hollars* The shower rod is broken!
*brother groans back* I had an incident with the rod, and it lost
*mentally thinking, oh just hell*
*takes half ass shower*
*does hair half assed*
*gets ready half assed*
*out the door half assed by 10*
*Sweetie is still in happy sleep induced coma*
totally hated him at that moment. totally.

"Yeah...uh...he had a stomach virus, oh yeah...mhmm... poor guy was suffering from it all day yesterday...erm...um yeah...and uh...he uh...yeah he was running a temperature." *Me looking everywhere but into my mothers eyes as I lie about my bro's middle of the night yacking onto his bedroom carpet*

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta love mothers. Mine gave me a whole boatload of jewelry. yayyyy.

Competition on Sunday. We totally blew our performance. Our pitch didn't match the harmonium but on the bright side, everyone LOVED Duma dam Mast Kalander. I tell you, Abida Parveen totally rocks.

Left comp, went home, ate, left parentals abode, got home by 12am, went to sleep by 2am.
Woke up, felt like shit, stayed home feeling like shit. Layed around in bed feeling like shit. See a theme? FELT LIKE SHIT.

Cooked (even if I felt like shit).

Went to old home and cleaned.

Went to bed at 2am again. Loath and dispise these late nights now : (

*gasps*
Phew, that was a hell of a lot.
More reflections of a deeper nature later
Ta loves!
*flounces off to meet sasha*